lies

just my opinion, but First Reponse says that there is such a thing as a little bit pregnant, and they can tell you if you are. I'd like to say no, on both counts. You either are, or you're not, let's face it. And I took their test 4 days before I was expecting my period (they say they can test 5 days before) and it was a resounding negatory. Clearly, I was pregnant at that point. So, read the fine print, it's something like 50% accurate early on, so really, save yourself the $10, don't go on any drug / alcohol binges, and wait until you're actually a day or 2 late before you test. You'll save money and frustration. And possibly some brain cells.

gross

so, symptoms are not yet improving. I made it all the way to yesterday without actually barfing, but that was as far as my winning streak was meant to go. The thing with feeling nauseated constantly, is that when you really have to throw up, it sort of sneaks up on you. I was in the shower. That's just gross. I know, it could have been worse, I could have been like, in my car, or in the mall, but it was still gross. I just wanted to share that with you. I felt like crap the rest of the day. Today I woke up feeling really good, but am back to feeling really gross again, so nibbling on a pb foldy and sipping chocolate milk, because that usually makes me feel better.

now you know.

in better news, I found out that a good friend of mine is also pregnant, just about a week behind me, so that's fantastic. She's here in the same city as me, so we can hopefully go to some classes together and stuff, and just have each other to say, oh, yeah, I have that too...we're both feeling much the same at this stage. I invite you all to go ahead and get knocked up, and we can all go through this together. I'm pretty sure the grossness is going to stop soon, hopefully in a couple of weeks. My main hope is just that I don't start barfing regularly at all, because that's just not practical for work. Plus, I was hoping not to tell them right away, but my stealthiness could be thrown off by daily vomiting. Wish me luck!

week 9 down, week 10 here we come

So I actually got to do something productive today, in relation to being pregnant. I went for some blood test, just routine pre-natal stuff I guess. They're testing for like, syphillis and HIV, mmm, and also rubella immunity and some other stuff that I couldn't decode on the little order sheet. 4 vials, that's enough knowledge for me. I won't have my first prenatal checkup until October 12th, which is annoying, but apparently normal, so whatever. I'll be 15 weeks by then. Seems a bit late for the first checkup, but she said if I came in earlier, all they would do was order blood tests and schedule an ultrasound, which is already being taken care of. That should be mid-October as well; I'm looking forward to that.

That's all my news, I couldn't eat before my blood tests so now I am starvin marvin, and also tired because I got up early to go so it wouldn't be so bad not eating beforehand.

coming up on week 9

time is FLYING. I know I said that not too long ago, but it really is. It's been 4 weeks since I found out I'm pregnant, and I have no idea where that time has gone. I've told everyone who's really close to me now, and obviously Grant's entire family and town knows because that's what happens in small towns / big families.

still feeling gross most of the time, and sadly for you I can't find any info on how big my uterus is nowadays. lol. bigger, I guess! I'm having some occasional cramps / twinges that I am of course taking as good signs. It sure does help to be reading about all this stuff though. I think the part I'm finding the weirdest, for some reason, is that everything that's supposed to happen, is happening. It's comforting in a way, but also strange to know exactly what's going to happen to me.

general silliness

I'm here by myself, the first of many days to come, and thinking of stuff. I've decided on Ella Rose for a girl and Oliver Robert for a boy. Not that it's entirely my decision, and I'm sure I'll change my mind before the time comes, but if it were born today, that would be her/his name.

fun stuff.

man (day 56)

uneventful dr. appt. I've been referred to an ob/gyn, which is good, but I just figured my family dr. would be taking care of me. I'm getting referred to a new lady dr. though, so that's good. I don't mind men, but I'm a little more comfortable with women doctors, just because I've always had them. So, waiting on the appointment times for that. I have to go have some bloodwork done, apparently routine; I'll go next week because I'm going with Grant's mom to an appointment in the same building.

Telling Grant's parents went swimmingly. It's funny how much we worry, and then everyone just ends up being surprised, but then happy for us and excited about being grandparents. I feel bad for not having told Erin yet, but I want to tell her in person, not like, on messenger. I'll see her this weekend, so that's excellent.

So, not much going on that's new, week 9 starts tomorrow. wow! Time is flying, maybe just because it's summer. School tends to fly by too.

my parents, down

well, they're fine actually, but the telling of them is done. I told them Sunday night, and didn't really break it to them all that gracefully, but in the end, we're all ok. They do, as expected, want us to get married, but I just don't know. I do, we do want to get married, but I'm not sure the shotgun-style is really how I want to remember my special day. Also, since I don't get time off, we'd have to do it on a weekend with no possibility of honeymooning (no thanks) or at Christmas or March break. Christmas, sure, but that's not a tonne of time to plan. March break I'll be 8+ months along, and probably not feeling much like going anywhere. We had planned, loosely, on going away somewhere, and I think we'd like to stick to that. I'll talk to my parents some more, and Grant's parents of course, but I don't want to get married just to be married. That's not the right reason. The baby will still have Grant's last name right away, so it'll just be me doing the catching up. Which is fine.

Anyway, so I'm a little relieved, I still have to tell my sister, I think my mom is going to tell my Grannie, and then there's Grant's family. Wish me luck! It's so different like this than it would be in a couple of years, if we were married and say, working permanent jobs in the same city.

yipes

so, I'm at the cottage, just me and my parents. Just me and my dad actually, right now. Mom went to a friend's 50th on the Island, and will be back later today. Anyway, obviously I haven't told them. I'm going to, I just haven't figured out how. I've been doing fairly well with not throwing up or anything, and since mom wasn't here last night she didn't notice that I wasn't drinking Mike's like I normally do. I ran some errands with Dad yesterday, we went to the Pork Shop and I had to try very hard not to barf on the nice people there. Nausea is coming and going, but it's definitely made worse by smells and / or thinking about food that's unappealing. Last time I was here, a few weeks back I guess since I didn't know at that point I was pregnant, we had a huge feed of ribs. Dad made them again for us last night and I ate 3. The 3rd one was very tricky. I ate all my salad, I seem to do much better with things like salad, sandwiches, soup. Real meals are still not holding any appeal, along with a lot of food. I can't say that I'm craving any specific foods so much as just trying to figure out what it is that I can eat that will make me feel good. Eating does help the nausea, but it's hard to find foods that aren't gross right now. Tonight we're having salmon and beets, and hopefully cucumber salad. Ordinarily, honestly, my favourite summer meal. Today, not so sure.

Things are still a bit tense at home, we're really trying to figure out how this is going to work. It's looking like the best plan is going to be me moving up to Fredericton in April, once I have the baby, and then most likely staying there. Assuming Grant is still working there, doing well and liking it. It does pose problems though, if he rents a place for now, he'll most likely get stuck in a year lease, and he'll be renting with somebody else. I doubt somebody else is going to be too pleased with me and an infant moving in come spring. We'll see.

So, as I said at the get-go here, I still have to tell my parents. I'm figuring this afternoon or evening. How exactly does one broach that subject? So...guess what! Dah. I'll let you know how it goes.

On a side note, my mom really wants us to get married. She's stopped being subtle about it. She figures if we can afford to live together, we can afford to be married. I told her it's not the *being* married, it's the *getting* that's the issue, these things cost money. She said, as if this should have been clear to me, that she and my dad would pay for the wedding. Good news. She said not like $100k or anything, (as if I'd want that, ack), but yeah. I told her I'd pass that along.

ho hum

day...I have no idea. 46 I think. Not much to report, and I can't see that there will be for a while. I feel like ass and am pretty tired. I've nearly vomited in my car and on the checkout guy at Superstore. I haven't actually been sick yet, which I guess is good because barfing is really awful.

check out the alien baby. very bizarre, but pretty cool too.

according to the Chinese Lunar Calendar, I'm going to have a girl. Definitely have to wait that one out, since they don't tell you which it is here. I read it wrong and thought it was a boy first, which freaked me out, because I have this (totally irrational, I'm sure) idea that girl babies are for some reason easier to take care of.

mmm, symptoms (day 42)

my boobs are sore, I feel like barfing, and my pee is neon yellow from these crazy prenatal vitamins I'm taking.

the joy of pregnancy!

Day 40

I keep having to re-count to see how many days it is. I'm starting to have a bit of nausea, which isn't too fun, but is tolerable. 2 weeks until I go see my Dr. I wish they had been able to get me in a bit sooner, but with summer being busy and them going on vacation, they just couldn't. I'm actually a little glad that I'm starting to feel some of the 'normal' symptoms, because I just wasn't really feeling anything, and it was weird. It's still weird feeling something, because it really just still doesn't feel real, and I don't know that it will until I start to show. I think the Dr visit will help a bit, she'll be able to tell me if everything is going along as it should be, I'll be almost 8 weeks at that point, so there should be some noticeable changes for her to see / feel.