moving on

I'm republishing this badboy over at my regular page, so the new address (although probably very few updates) will be www.moderatelyspicy.com/preggoblog.

later skaters.

a few more things about babies

don't overbuy one size of diapers. Most places you can trade unopened bags for the next size, so think about whether or not your little one will be little enough for that size for the whole bag. Those things are expensive, and while your friends with smaller babies will surely appreciate the extras, it's good to be able to use them yourself.

get the onesies / diaper shirts that snap up the front, not that pull over the head, especially for nighttime. You do not want to ever have to pull a soggy / poopy shirt over your baby's head, trust me. You especially don't want to have to wrestle with that at 3am.

always, ALWAYS, buy according to the weight guidelines on clothes, not the age. Kieran is in things now that range from 3 months (he was in some 3 month things at about 1 month) to 12 months. I don't think a normal healthy baby should only weigh what he weighs now at 12 months, but what do I know. Just check the labels.

establish routines, babies like that. at the same time though, accept that you're dealing with a baby, and they don't understand about your schedule and things you need to get done. sometimes you'll have a perfect day / night, other times, not so much. work with it.

feel all clothes for softness, check out the fasteners, and smell every bath / body product before you buy. I've got some clothes that are kind of rough fabric, or that have 14 snaps you need to do up to get it on. That's just not practical for speedy diaper changes. I've also got some 'baby' products that I'm not even sure Grant would want to use, they're that strong-smelling. Also, some are only to use on 3 months and up, check the directions.

things about being pregnant

- you have no idea how big you will get, so don't go buying maternity clothes that you think will last you the whole time when you're 3-4 months along. Those 'pregnancy' pillow things they have to stick up your shirt are just not helpful either. Sorry.

- beg, borrow, and steal whatever you can to build your new wardrobe. Shop 2nd hand, eBay, whatever. The clothes are too expensive, and you wear them for too short a time to go blowing too much money. Definitely get a few nice new things though, you're worth it.

- people will stare openly at you as you approach the end of your pregnancy. Try not to be offended by it, either ignore it or enjoy it.

- while I didn't run into any strangers wanting to touch my stomach, I don't think it would have bothered me as much as I thought it would have when I started this little journey. Everyone is different though, so if creepy coworkers are bothering you, just go ahead and start rubbing their bald spots or something, or (better) be honest and tell them you don't really appreciate it.

- people will do anything for you when you're knocked up. Enjoy it. The downside (and what really bothered me, making me want to do everything for myself) was that they'll do it for you because they think you're incompetent. Seen a pregnant woman on tv lately? Now you know why people think that. I was hu-freaking-mungous, and I could always bathe and dress myself, tie my shoes, whatever. I had a hard time carrying things sometimes, because of the obstacle on my stomach, but that was about it. So, deal with that as you see fit.

- take your prenatal vitamins. Start taking them now, you just never know. I'm glad I was taking a multi-vite with folic acid when we got our little surprise, but if you're not, go get some now. If your vitamins make you sick, try just taking them at night instead of the morning, before you go buy a different brand. They're not all the same, even though the ingredients are identical, so if the night thing doesn't work, do buy another kind.

- get as much rest as your huge-ass uncomfortable body will allow you to get before the big day.

- go out as much as your huge-ass uncomfortable, tired body will allow you to go. Movies, dinners, whatever. Just go. Even when the offers of babysitting come in, it may be a while before you feel physically or mentally up for a night on the town once your precious bundle arrives.

- try to remember that almost nobody delivers on their due date, and most people who don't are on the later side of on time.

- with that in mind, also be advised that nothing can induce your baby to come early other than your doctor, and that doesn't even always work. All the other things you hear / read about are myths, and while you can go ahead and try some of them (sex, pineapple, walking) you should steer clear of others (Castor oil, for one). You're just going to have to wait it out. Babies can be very stubborn.

- enjoy it as much as possible, it's really an amazing experience. There's a tiny person in there, and when you're not vomiting or bed-bound, take a moment to think about how cool that is. You'll miss it.

moving on

for now anyway. rather than try to keep up with 2 blogs, who am I kidding, I think for now I'll resume my posting over at the regular site. I still plan to do a list of things I learned in pregnancy / new mom-hood, which I'll post here, but as Mitch mentioned, the baby *is* my moderately spicy life now, so I may as well post everything together.

random thoughts for the day

the name "jogging stroller" makes no sense, when you think about it.

I'm about to spend too much money on books about babies and sign language and stuff.

I've been wearing Kieran in his carrying pouch thing for about 2 hours, just wandering around the house and sitting at the computer, and he has hardly let out so much as a whimper of protest. He's too busy sleeping and trying to eat the straps. I really need a sling, I think they're even easier, no straps and stuff to fiddle with.

Kieran's getting a lot more active. He can now spin himself around so where he was facing north south, say, he'll be facing east west 2 minutes later. Interesting. He can support his own weight while standing, and just needs to balance himself on somebody, which I think is weird for a month old baby. He's also become much more interested in putting his mouth on everything it comes across, like his hand, or the futon, and trying to eat them.

quickie

Kieran fell asleep on his own, in his crib. He had his soother and the aquarium crib thing was on, but still, he was wide awake when I put him down, and by the time I finished peeing and went to see how he was doing, out like a light. Very excited.

come on over

I'm all by myself...well, with Kieran and the cats and fish...until Thursday at supper, so I need some visitors please! Mainly to keep myself from going crazy talking to the baby and cats, really. So yeah, call me, come over, bring me treats, whatever. Kieran's generally a pretty happy guy and loves to be cuddled, but has been having some gas / growing pains lately which make him less fun. Still damn cute, but much louder than usual.

He found his thumb the other day, but I didn't get my camera in time to get a picture. Trust that it was cute.

We went for a visit to my friend Amy who had her baby 5 days before Kieran was born. Grant went to the Blue Rodeo concert in Moncton and I spent the night with Amy and Wyatt, which was pretty fun, but we decided nobody without infants would have thought so. It's just nice to have someone to talk all the baby stuff with, and to realize that everything your baby is doing / not doing is apparently normal. He showed off for the night by only waking up at 4 and 7:30. He does pretty well most nights though, depending what time he gets his last feed before we go to bed. Usually 11/12, 3/4, 6/7. I stay in bed as long as possible after that 6/7 feeding, but it's usually only a couple of hours, sadly. 2-3 in the day, 3-4 at night, he's got it figured out pretty well. Apparently they can start sleeping through the night (missing that 3/4 feeding) any time after 6 weeks, so I'm hopeful.

This time is a bit of a mess otherwise though, there was the 2 week growth spurt, then from 3-4 weeks is their gassiest and therefore fussiest time, and then any time from 4-6 weeks is another growth spurt. So we've been alternating between days of our normal, wonderful baby who's just a treat, and days of this poor, crampy, uncomfortable and unconsolable baby who won't sleep more than 20 minutes at a go during the day and takes a long time to get back to sleep at night. I feel bad for him, we got him gripe water (the alcoholic and non-alcoholic kind, because I didn't know there was alcohol in the regular stuff...no wonder it settles him down) and Gerber gas relief stuff, but the latter doesn't seem to work at all, and the former is a significant dose of stuff that Kieran doesn't really like, so it's been fun. I try to explain things to him, but he's really just not that understanding of things at this point. Just a minute honey, mommy needs to put on pants. Hang on one second sweetie, mom's on the toilet. I'll be right there bud, I don't really need to rinse off.

Anyway, naturally he woke up while I was typing here and is now sound asleep on my chest with his nose buried in the blanket. He enjoys sleeping on his stomach so much, I can't wait for him to be able to roll over so he can at night too.

so yes, in closing, come see me. I'm going to try to put him down again so I can pee. I give a hearty salute to single mothers; I have no idea how you got through this complete dependence stage on your own. And a belated happy Mothers' Day to all moms. You're great. Thanks.

all the pictures

seriously. except for the ones I got from my mom, they're mostly quite similar to mine so I haven't put them up yet. go here. they're big, be warned, and unedited. there are no woohoo shots, but there are pictures of Kieran seconds after birth, so be prepared for some goo. They're in folders by dates, so you can figure out what's what and from when. Enjoy!

pictures

wow, time flies

So Kieran's now 2 weeks and 3 days old, and we're still surviving, which is good stuff. He's a really good baby, although is currently going through a cranky stage / growth spurt, but we've been assured it doesn't last. Here's hoping. I'm pretty tired, but we're getting into more of a routine with the eating and sleeping, so things are settling down. What to say? Hmm. Things we've learned so far.

Babies don't like baths at first, but generally get to like them as they have more of them.
If your baby weighed 8lbs9oz at birth, and weighed 8lbs11oz at his 1-week checkup, and 9lbs7oz at his 2-week checkup, you will be horrified, but the doctors will be thrilled and tell you to keep doing what you're doing, whatever that is.
Babies do not like being startled by cats jumping on them or by things falling near them. They cry really sad, scared cries when things like that happen.
Babies can make horrific, sounding like they're being torn apart by wolves sounds, for no good reason other than that they have been in their carseat for what they think is too long, and they want out.
You will probably cry the first time your baby makes that sound, because you're really hormonal and you don't know why your baby is making that sound.
That's ok. You'll probably cry some other times too, for similar reasons.
That's ok too.
You'll find it really hard to keep in touch with people, and will just cross your fingers and hope they understand that it's not because you don't want to talk to them, but just that if you do find yourself with a moment during the day where there isn't a baby attached to your breast or sleeping peacefully on your chest (because he does sleep SO well there, and looks so cute, and you just aren't willing to chance that he'll wake up when you put him in his crib, so you just sit and watch him sleep and quite possibly fall asleep yourself), that generally there is something more pressing, like the need for clean dishes and undies for you and sleepers for him.
Actually having a baby is a good reality check for all your idealist notions of how you're going to do things. Drug free labour? Sweet Jesus no. Baby in bed with you? Regularly, no. Sometimes, yeah. Makes the night feedings *so* much easier. Pacifier for the baby? Again, regularly, no. Sometimes, yeah. He won't keep it in his mouth long anyway, but those few seconds of quiet while I'm changing a diaper at 3am are more valuable than my worry about him becoming one of 'those babies' who always has a soother in his mouth.

That's all I can think of for now, I'll let you know as we learn more.

baby!

ok, so short and to the point, because I'm tired, and frankly would rather be hanging out with my sweet boy or napping than sitting in this remarkably uncomfy chair at the computer.

woke up at about 2am Saturday with contractions, they were far apart though, so we just sat tight and I went back to sleeep. Woke up at about 3:30, they had progressed to what I would say is fairly painful and about 5 minutes apart. Woke up Grant again and Erin and headed to the hospital. 12.5 hours, GBS antibiotics, phentenol, laughing gas, and a pudendal block later, I have this to show for it.


Robert Kieran Roach (Kieran, not Robert)
8lbs 9oz
Born April 9, 2005 at 6:24pm


I wouldn't rush out and do it again, it was really painful and incredibly tiring, and every part of me aches still. It wasn't absolutely horrible though, and I think I managed pretty well. I'm amazed at myself, and what my body knows how to do, and what the last 9 months have given us. I'm way more hormonal now than I ever was while pregnant, my stomach is just...horrific, lol, but that's to be expected, my breasts are roughly the size of my head, much bigger than Kieran's head, and I'm so tired I could fall over. And it's so worth it. I'm going to go look at my baby. He's so soft and perfect and I just want to look at him and touch him and sniff him all the time.

More later when things settle down.

damn ticker!

I've decided that the baby on the baby ticker up yonder is actually my baby. Look how happy he is to be just hanging out at 41 weeks 1 day! What a jerk. According to my doctor here, I'm only 41 weeks tomorrow, but since my doctor originally told me I was due the 30th, and with the ultrasound saying last week sometime, I'm sticking with that. Like it matters at this point anyway. So I'll be either 41+4 or +2 on Sunday. Baby, COME OUT!

I'm sort of paranoid to be out and about now. Everything I've read says that it's unlikely your water will break before you know you're in labour, but it can happen. That's what happened to a few people I know anyway. I'd hate to like, be at Superstore (where I am almost every day) and standing in a pool; that'd be sort of embarassing. I went out to a concert last night with my sister and some friends, we were hoping that the loud music might encourage / scare the baby out, but obviously, no go.

I've been sleeping in until like, 11:30. I sometimes get up earlier with Grant and have breakfast, but then go back to bed and just sleep. Then I'm like, hmm, almost lunchtime, probably should get up. I'll try to 'enjoy this while I can', but I'm still not sleeping really well at night, and this is just a convenient way to waste half of the day.

because *other* people have news

ok. News bit number one, my preggo friend Amy had her baby on Monday, a little boy! She was due on Sunday, after me, so I sort of hate her, lol, but I've been saying since this whole bedrest thing started that she'd probably end up having her baby before me anyway, and she did. I'm so excited for her, but haven't talked to her yet so don't have any details. I do, however, have this lovely picture of us from when we chaperoned a kids' camping trip to Mount Carleton last spring. I have never, ever, had such a terrible time in my life, but Amy and I somehow kept each other from murdering any students or our fellow chaperone. I'm still not sure how. This picture pretty much sums up how much fun we were having, it's from about halfway up the mountain.


(Me and Amy. Note the fake smiles so the kids don't know we're plotting their deaths)

That's about as far as I made it, soon after this picture I had my first and only ever attack of exercise induced asthma. Scary stuff, I was pretty certain I was going to die.

News bit number 2, my friend Andrea and her fiancé John have entered a contest to win a dream wedding and honeymoon, the whole shebang. They've made the final 10, and now it's up to us to vote for them every day to make sure they win. So go here, click on 'contestants', and vote for Andrea and John. Read the story too, it's really sweet. But mostly, vote. And tell your friends to vote. I'm not sure when the contest closes, so vote soon.

I can hear the birdies chirping outside, it looks just lovely out. I think I'll go back to bed for a few minutes, because I had another fantastic sleep last night, and then maybe go for a walk.

no baby today

not a planned one, anyway.

membrane strip #3, it's becoming sort of a joke. She said I'm 3cm though, that's up a full cm from last week, and almost completely thinned out. The baby's head is 'well placed', which is good to know so that if I do (hopefully) go on my own, that the chances of cord prolapse are slim, where they would be slightly higher just because I have so much fluid in there. Anyway, all is good, I'm scheduled for an induction Sunday, but really, *surely*, something should happen before then. I have to call labour and delivery early, 7:30-ish, and go in whenever they tell me to, and my doctor should be in around 9am to start things going. They're going to rupture my membranes, and hopefully that's all they'll have to do.

It's lunch time, I just wanted to update everyone.

big day!

or not, still waiting for it to be time for me to go to my appointment. It's brutal, waiting. I've been awake since 5:30, because obviously I had to pee, and then just couldn't get back to sleep. I'm anxious to see what happens today, both because it could be something really exciting, and it could be nothing at all, which would be sort of frustrating.

My sister is up, and called a while ago to remind me to call her when I find out what's going on, even if it's nothing. She's stuck at a first aid course all day, and it seems I'm in a race with another guy who's there, he's waiting for his wife to have a baby. I'll do my best! I told her she's mom's fill in as labour coach. It's too bad really that you can only have 2 people in with you the whole time. I'll just have to be out wandering around I guess.

I've mostly stopped answering the phone, and will definitely be not answering the phone and will be changing the message once the ball starts rolling. Is that selfish / inconsiderate of me? I don't care, really. The thing is, if we're home, clearly there's nothing going on, so if you must call, remember that, and don't ask, that's just silly. I'm still feeling basically good, and that's the only reason that I haven't murdered anyone, or at least told anyone off. Including, but not limited to, random strangers at the mall who stare at me or ask me when I'm due. One woman last night, a saleslady at Reitman's, said, 'oh, I just always want to touch the bellies when I see them, but I know I can't!'. I think she was half expecting me to say, 'no, go ahead!' But I didn't. It's my stomach, and even though it's sticking out into what may appear to be public domain, it's still mine. I don't mind in the least when people I know touch me, but the idea of strangers is just...odd.

I'm compiling a list in my head of things that are good to know during pregnancy. I'll post it whenever I get a good bunch of things.

Well, it seems that it's actually time for me to start getting ready, showering and whatnot. My appointment is in an hour, and even though it won't be really, I always show up on time, just in case. Grant's going to meet me there; I'm glad he's coming to the appointments now because a) it gives me someone to talk to once they shuffle me into the doctor's office and make me wait some more, and b) he feels better knowing that there's really not much going on at these appointments, I'm not exaggerating at all, and everything is ok with me and the baby.

More later.

nothing doing

despite my best efforts, no baby yet. I've still got at least all day today to will something to happen, and there's no saying that my Dr. will for sure actually do anything tomorrow, she could just be setting up an appointment. We'll see. I'll definitely update tomorrow or Wednesday, so if you don't hear from me on here, it's possible that something's going on. It's also possible that blogger is broken, or something equally non-baby related.

I have an eye appointment on Wednesday in Moncton, I don't think I'm going to make it. It was made during the 'this baby is going to come any minute' stage of the game. SUCH the jokester! Anyway, so I have to change that. I really like my eye doctor in Moncton, but I think it's probably more practical to have one here for simple checkups like this...just an apres-lasik check in.

My poor belly has been so itchy lately that I thought I was going to die. I've got some band-aid anti itch gel that works pretty well, although smells like vaporub. I think the problem may be that because my pants don't fit properly (I don't know how they possibly could, at this point), the buttons and zippers (which are often open when I'm just hanging out at home) are probably rubbing against me, and I'm allergic to nickel, which they may be made of? I think this rather than just the stretching factor because it's only on the bottom half of my belly, and things don't really feel that tight there, relative to anywhere else already showing signs of stretch. So, I've gone back to my original plan of wearing the overalls every day to see if that helps.

I'm bored, and hungry, so am going to eat something to take care of one of those needs. I'll pass on any news as it presents itself to me.

reassurance

I've been talking to a friend of my sister's, and she had her membranes ruptured to induce labour. She started having contractions about 5 minutes later and delivered her baby about 7 hours later. Not bad. That's encouraging. Something has to work, right? I'm still holding out for something to happen naturally before that, so keep those labour vibes coming!

hey guess what! I'm in labour!

just kidding. April fools!

was that mean? oh well. many of you seem to think I'm not going to tell you when I have a baby anyway, so I figure it's fair to mess you around a bit.

My sister took me for a pedicure the other night, it was sweet. The colour is a reddish pink, and called 'nice colour, eh?'. Pretty fun. While I was there, the ladies all got talking about psychics and whatnot, and the wedding ring on the chain test to see if you're having a boy or girl baby. They do it over your left hand, and keep repeating the test so it reveals what sex all of your past / present / future babies will be. One woman did it to all of us, and 2 of the other women already had children, and it guessed their sexes correctly, then predicted other kids for them. One woman it didn't move at all, just stopped, she doesn't have kids, nor is she planning on having any. They did me, and according to the test I'm having a girl. Then a boy, then another girl. Pretty fun, they made me promise I'd call and let them know, because I explained to them that I was pretty sure it was a boy, given what we've seen on the many ultrasound scans. It would be pretty funny, but rather surprising.

I called my doctor's office, and the receptionist said that she'd probably not rupture my membranes right there, but would likely send me over to labour and delivery. I guess I'll just have to go with bags packed and see what happens. That's on Tuesday. Wow. I'm not sure if knowing *is* any better than not knowing, really.

Also, to add to my list of fears and worries, I've been thinking more about the whole tattoo epidural thing, and since I can't find out ahead of time, since it depends on the anesthetist on duty, I'm worried now that if for some reason I need a c-section ( I can't see why I would, but it's always possible, I'm trying not to think too much about it) that they'd have to knock me out, and I really, reallllly don't want that. So, hopefully I won't need an epidural anyway, and if I do, I can get one, and there'll be no need for any of this silly c-section business.

holy blogger suckingness

why does blogger hate me? it gives me such grief. it seems to be fixed now, but it took most of my patience yesterday to get things not double posting and / or posting at all.

I'm still pregnant. I think I'm getting cranky.

ok, it's a bad sign when you post about blogger sucking, and it gives you an error. shows up in my list of posts, but not on the site! my computer is making me very angry today, I'm not sure why it wants to do that.

more whining

I went to visit my personlized preggo sites, and they're all like 'congratulations on your baby!'. Nowhere to choose 'did you have a baby yet, yes or no?' and continue on that way. Nope. Same for the emails. Congratulations! Yeah, thanks. Newsflash guys, almost nobody delivers on their due date.

I am taking comfort in knowing that I'll most likely have a baby by the end of next week. It's also a little scary though. I'm still holding out some hope for tomorrow, or before Tuesday. I don't know if she'll rupture my membranes right in the office or if I'll have to go to the hospital, and if I'll be able to go home, or what. I'm sure she'll be able to answer those things for me before poking me with the giant crochet hook. Yipes!

40 weeks. my counter is sad now.

no more "only x days to go!", just the sad declaration that I have, in fact, reached my due date. That's not sad really, but it loses something without the fun countdown. Also, I was out on the town today (WalMart, Shoppers, Pets Unlimited, and Dollarama, wooh!), and every single one of the cashiers asked me if I was due...soon? It was fun to say yes actually, today! They were all like, yipes...

My appointment was pretty good, I actually got to see Dr. Mills, my doctor, and will see her again next week if Jr. decides to hang in much longer. She stripped my membranes again, which wasn't very fun, but I'm 'a good 2cm dilated', up, ooh, half a centimetre from when I was in the hospital and from last week. *sigh*. She also noted that my membranes are bulging, which is a good sign, they could go any time, and that the baby is at a -3 station, on a scale of -5 (you have no hope in hell of delivering the baby) to +5 (the baby is actually being born). So that's all relatively good news. I asked about the giantness of the baby, and she said it's not a concern at this point, but that they won't let me go forever. I also asked about the placenta calcification thing, and she said that's absolutely nothing to worry about, the baby still feels and sounds great, and is active, so everything is hunky dory. It has to be quite calicified apparently, for it to cause concern. I did ask what would prompt them to do an induction, and she said we'd discuss it at my appointment next week, and that she would likely rupture my membranes after that appointment if things still weren't moving along. She said she had a lady in who wanted to be induced because she thinks she's having a 10lb baby. She said the lady probably is having a 10lb baby, but as long as everything is going well health wise for mom and baby, inducing just for size is generally not a good choice, as it leads to a much higher c-section rate.

So, hang in there I will. I ate a bunch of fresh pineapple last night because my sister found some things that said it helps to induce labour, but all it did for me was make my tongue burn. It was a fairly acidic pineapple, apparently. I've tried everything else, and am still here, so I guess I'll just keep doing everything and hope Jr. gets the idea. I can't see how he's not ready, but I guess I have to go with the fact that he's not. I'm thinking April 1st, which is Friday, because it's April Fool's, and that'd be fitting. Jokester baby.

blah-dee blah-dee blah

still here. Have another appointment tomorrow. I'm going to ask my Dr. if they're going to start monitoring me and the baby, since I'll be overdue in a couple of days. That sounds like I'm a library book or something. Whatever. Anyway, the baby's been big the whole time, and my placenta had started to calcify when I was in Moncton at the hospital, but nobody was concerned about anything because I was going to go into labour any minute. Guess what! My baby's a jokester, and seems to be in this for the long haul. The membrane sweep didn't really seem to do anything, I'm not sure if it was related to the mucous plug or not, but either way, has done nothing to get things going any time soon. Anyway, I just want to make sure that everything is still ok with the baby, that he can stay in there safely until he decides to make his grand entrance. I'm concerned because the reason they usually induce at 42 weeks is because the baby is getting so large, and your uterus and placenta aren't able to provide everything the baby needs as effectively, because he's supposed to be the heck out of there. I'm worried with the way things have been going that I may be at that point sooner than 42 weeks. We shall see. I really don't want a medical induction, so I keep walking and using my balance ball and hoping something will happen soon. He's still moving around a fair bit in there, I'm keeping a close eye on that.

I'll update again after tomorrow's appointment.

know what's gross?

a mucous plug.

that's all I have to say.

fun

I'm following another pregnancy blog, the woman is just slightly ahead of where I am, and is also quite surprised to find herself still pregnant, since her doctors were concerned she might go early. She does not have a giant baby, but has had the opposite worry of having a tiny baby. Anyway, we're both feeling sorry for ourselves, so I did a search and Google turned up this article, which made me smile and actually laugh out loud a couple of times. I've bolded my favourites.

25 Great Things about Being Pregnant
Copyright © 2001 Heather Moors Johnson

1 You're guaranteed to stop traffic whenever you cross the street.

2 People look at your stomach and can't help smiling, as if the mere thought of your being pregnant has actually made their day a little bit brighter.

3 You can eat a whole pint of chocolate-chunk ice cream and not feel guilty. Every night.

4 You can -- no, you must! --take naps. Lots of them.

5 Getting to name another human being.

6 Watching your husband turn into a father when he kisses your belly good night, reads to the baby in utero, or stays up until 3:00 a.m. putting the crib together -- just in case the baby decides to come eight weeks early.

7 Sex: For once in your life, you're neither worried about getting pregnant nor trying to get pregnant. You can have sex just for the pure fun of it.

8 Buying a bathing suit. It's not about hiding your flaws; it's about flaunting your belly.

9 Those wild, intense, amazing pregnancy dreams in which every remote person from your past makes some sort of appearance. None of these dreams can even begin to be analyzed or understood.

10 The amazing anticipation. It's like all your previous birthdays and holidays rolled into one.

11 Imagining the possibilities.

12 More personal space! And you have no qualms about claiming it.

13 You eat healthier, drink more water, and carefully read ingredient labels. Suddenly, it matters more to you what you put in your body.

14 In the middle of a boring meeting at work or a meaningless argument, you feel your baby squirming inside you and the sensation takes you away. It's your own secret communication.

15 Getting to hear the swish swish swish of your baby's heartbeat on the Doppler.

16 Playing "Guess the part sticking out," usually at bedtime, when your baby starts moving furniture around or whatever it is he does in there.

17 The extra attention you get from everyone -- your husband gives you more foot rubs, and your friends call to check in more often. Neighbors offer to help; coworkers volunteer to get lunch for you; little presents (a bottle of water, an afternoon snack) mysteriously show up on your desk.

18 The pregnancy beauty package: thick, silky hair; long, strong nails; beautiful skin; big boobs.

19 Getting to skip to the front of the line in public rest rooms.

20 Shopping for a person you haven't met yet: tiny clothes, all-new furniture, and adorable room decorations.

21 Dreaming about the first time someone calls you "Mommy" and the first time you hear someone call your husband "Daddy."

22 Baby showers! They remind you how special your friends and family think you are.

23 A continuous sense of accomplishment. You can answer "What did you do today?" with cool things like "I made ears" or simply "I'm making a person. What did you do?"

24 Spending immeasurable amounts of time trying to remember all those nursery rhymes, children's songs, and lullabies.

25 Knowing that all the bad stuff -- the heartburn, swollen ankles, backaches, and the rest -- doesn't last forever. And that in the end, it's all worth it.

spring cleaning

sweep your membranes!

haha, gross.

anyway, so that's done; it wasn't something I'd like to have done a lot, but wasn't any worse than the other pokes and prods we women get to endure in that general area. The Dr. seemed pretty confident that it would get things going, but I couldn't get him to put it in writing. He said that things look and feel good, baby's heart sounds good, he could actually feel the baby's head when he was doing the internal, which was cool but also sort of strange. He was a nice guy, this 'another one who's not my doctor' doctor, he assured me that the baby would be born eventually, and most likely soon-ish, because really, he has to come out sometime! No woman has ever been pregnant forever, and if I were to become the first one, at least I'd get famous and be in the Guiness book and whatnot. ha. He also said my membranes were bulging, which sounds pretty gross, but he said it like it's a good thing.

I got the funniest series of messages from my friend Jenn when I came home from my appointment, I have the playboy bunny as my display picture on messenger, and she was like, "So, I have an interview and OH MY GOD WHY IS THE EASTER BUNNY ON YOUR BELLYBUTTON??" I hadn't thought of that, so now I've decided the baby is definitely coming this weekend. the wait continues!

I'm such the sexy pregnant woman...

that the playboy bunny has actually appeared on my bellybutton. I kid you not. Witness my beautiful and yes, unretouched, photo.



You can also see one of my scars, that one's from having my gallbladder out, and used to be on the inside of my bellybutton. It has a twin matching scar on the lower part of what used to be my innie, and is now an outie. At least I'll have something fun to show for the rest of my stretchmarks! Who knew you would even *get* stretched on your bellybutton? It's apparently because of my piercing, but I took the ring out long before there was any danger of stretching anything. File that under "things they should tell girls before they make that final decision to scar their bodies for life".

Also, they changed my super fun appointment today to 11:10 from 3:30, so I have to actually get ready now and eat something. Wish me luck! I'll let you know how it goes; I'm hoping I'm one of the women who it sends into like, immediate labour. I figure, I've been in the minority for everything else, why not this too?

still pregnant

Yeah. So hence the lack of updates, there's just nothing new going on! Still pregnant, still growing every day ... my poor, poooor belly. The baby still has very active times, so he must have room to spare still.

Tomorrow I go for my big appointment, my mom is convinced I'm going into labour right afterward. If I do, Grant is right next door, so I'll just give him a call. I've moved my bags so that I'm not staring at them every time I wake up; they were taunting me.

If I go by my ultrasound dates, I'm due today I think, so hopefully that will kick in sometime. I think if not, this will be a beer / sex filled weekend. Probably not really, because neither of those things are particularly appealing at this point, but may serve as a means to an end. (Obviously I'm not going to go on a drinking binge, so don't even bother wasting your angry comments on that one, mmmkay?)

good news and ... hmmm... news

ok. I'm measuring 42 weeks, the baby is good, there's still extra fluid. His growth of nearly 2lbs in the 2 weeks between my last 2 u/s scans is normal. I tested positive for Group B Strep, and so will be given antibiotics when I go into labour.

Here are my questions and the answers I got:

Am I having a giant baby?
Laughter. He's big, but not enormous, just bigger than average. The scan weights are accurate to a pound either way, so he could have been anywhere from 6lbs2oz to 8lbs2oz. (which means he could now be 8lbs2oz or 10lbz2oz. Sweet jebus.)

Why is he trying to claw his way out of my cervix? That hurts.
That's probably not him, but the pain is likely caused by the separation of the cartilige in your pelvis, and is normal.

How many people can I have in the labour / delivery room?
2, and people can't be coming and going.

Do I labour and deliver in the same room?
Yes, unless we need to take you to the OR.

Can I deliver on my side or sitting up?
Yes, we don't put women flat on their backs, they're at about this (demonstrates about a 45 degree angle) level. The only thing we don't really encourage is standing up or squatting, because that makes it very difficult for the doctor to control the baby's head coming out.

I heard this silly rumour that people with lower back tattoos can't always get epidurals. That's bunk, right?
No, that's true. Do you have one? Let me see where it is. Ok, now where are your hipbones? Ok...hmmm...it's quite possible that they won't be able to give you an epidural, but you'll have to see the anesthesiologist to be sure.

But, I googled it, and didn't find anything! dammit!

Ok. Also, I don't even know that I want an epidural. Do I really need to decide that now? I want to sort of see what happens before I decide.
No, of course not. You shouldn't know yet. It's a great attitude to have that you'll just take things as they come, and if you need one, you can get one.

I also heard you give a shot of something right after the baby is born to deliver the placenta, what's that about?
It's a shot of oxytocin, and it's been shown to speed up the 3rd stage of labour greatly. It also helps to slow the bleeding. (it's the same hormone your body produces naturally when you start to breastfeed)
Will it cause me to have contractions for hours afterward?
No, not at all. Especially being a first time mom, you probably won't have much after-labour pain at all.

What happens with the baby right after he's born?
We put him right up on your belly, unless you've had a c-section, then he'll go right to the warmer. We give you about an hour to bond etc in the delivery room, and then move you to your post-natal recovery room.


That's it. I felt really good leaving the appointment, even though I'd had to wait an hour and 45 minutes to get in. Looks like the epidural debate may have been resolved with no effort from me. I get to go for a tour of the maternity ward on Tuesday at lunch time. Next week when I go in for my appointment, IF I go in, she'll do an internal and sweep / strip my membranes. That's where they separate your membranes from your uterus (just with a finger while they're checking dilation, not with some evil tool), and it generally gets things moving along. Good to know.

last appointment?

here's hoping! I have my 38 week checkup today, and a few questions to ask. I'm going to ask if, given the enormous amount the baby grew in the 2 weeks between my last 2 ultrasounds, I should expect that he's growing 1lb per week, and be suitably horrified. To go with that, will I be monitored any further, and is it possible that this baby will get to big to be delivered au naturel? This is all horrifying, I have to say. I don't want to be induced, because it makes for harder labour. I'm going to ask about the epidural, because apparently there's like, the one guy in the hospital who does them, and you have to give them lots of notice if you want one. Well, I don't know if I do yet, and I don't really feel I can make a decision right now. Maybe I could just say yes I do, and then tell him to go away when he arrives? Who knows. They also apparently give you a shot of something to *increase* your contractions immediately after the baby is born, to help deliver the placenta. Now, my understanding is that this particular part of labour is not in any way difficult for 95% of women. This drug causes you to have contractions for 2-3 hours, which, since you're done with the whole delivery part, sounds really awful. I'm going to find out about that and how to not get it. Doesn't seem right that they can just administer drugs without your fully informed consent anyway, really. I took bioethics, I know about patient rights. They also have a habit of just doing an episiotomy without asking. I'm more than a little apprehensive about delivering here, and all this new news is not helping. This is a strange place we've wandered in to.

time keeps ticking, ticking, ticking (whine to follow)

The carpet has been steam cleaned, the curtains are made and hung. The baby is doing something that's causing me considerable, though only occasional, shooting pain in my cervix (TMI? I don't care) and still no signs of anything else. My parents were up this weekend, as they were heading home Dad was joking that I'll be calling tonight from the hospital. I'm thinking, I hope so! I know I complain, and I think if I were a normal size, it'd be better, but nothing even fits anymore. I have literally 2 things I can wear - a giant pair of Gap maternity panel pants and my overalls. Nothing else is comfortable or will stay up to cover me, and the shirts are all too short. I put on a pair of jeans that I wore a few days ago, and had to change halfway through the day because they were cutting into me when I sat down. The baby has moved down quite a bit, so it makes things just not quite fit right. The underside of my belly is a mess of stretch marks, most of which occurred in the hospital for some reason, and I'm still getting new ones. I'm not too worried about them, they fade, but just that they are indicators of the fact that I'm still growing. I'm at about probably 2 hours of sleep a night all told, and the rest of it just spent lying on one side, trying to find a way to stop my hips from aching. If one more person tells me it's 'preparing me for what's to come!' I'm going to slap them. Seriously. I know I won't be sleeping through the nights with a newborn, but I think I'd be much better prepared to do that if I were able to get some good sleep before he comes! It could be much worse, I have managed to avoid some of the more unpleasant symptoms of pregnancy, and I'm thankful for that. I just reached the 'overwhelmingly large and uncomfortable' stage quicker than I should have, and it's wearing on me.

edit: also, I just found out today, after having checked every other day up to last friday and being told no, that I do in fact have to file reports while on sick leave (thankfully only another 2 weeks, then they start my mat leave) in order to receive money. So I've been waiting.....for nothing. I filed a month's worth today though, so hopefully I'll get something soon!

I think I'm done now.

good news!

just kidding!

Talking to my sister. She gives me the cheerful advice, read in one of my mom's apparently numerous pregnancy books, that I should be wearing a pad and sleeping on a gd plastic sheet for the last few weeks. I said that I had read that only 10-15% of women's waters broke before labour started, so it seemed unnecessary, and who the hell wants to sleep on a plastic sheet? This whole 'end of pregnancy' thing has left me with little dignity, do I really need to revert to the days of possible bed-wetting? I don't have a plastic sheet. I could use one of Jr's changing pads, lol. Do you suppose that would do?

Nobody tells you about this shit before you're pregnant!

On a possibly hopeful note, I felt the baby genuinely trying to escape yesterday, I had to stop walking and made a horrible face, Grant's mom was worried. lol. Also have been having lots of bh contractions, but nothing regular, and my body just likes to mess with my head I think. Had a Dr. appt yesterday and the doc said that he (my girl dr. is away this week) could feel the baby's head quite low and couldn't move it, which is a sign he's moving into position. This also can happen weeks before labour, but I'm hoping that all my crazy symptoms will get together and start to work their magic soon. I have diapers that are only good to 10lbs! And newborn clothes! Not a lot of the latter, but still, I want to use all my stuff!

painted!

super cute giraffe lamp, no?


we're letting the stuffed animals keep the crib safe and warm until el bambino arrives.

Not too bad eh? I think it turned out really well. The colours aren't showing up quite right on here, but they are, just so you know, a pale yellow on the walls, and lavender, periwinkle, blue danube, apple green, pineapple yellow, and empire gold squares, done in toll paints. Anyway, I'm really pleased. The sponges I used were weird, they weren't just bubbly looking on the bottom, they sort of had stripes, so that's how the paint came off on the walls, but I alternated the horizontal and vertical stripes, so it looks like I planned to use that kind of sponge. It feels good to plan something all by yourself and then have it work out, let me tell you. Now all I have to do is make the curtains. I bought fabric yesterday, but only enough for one window. There are 2, so that's a bit of a problem. If the roads clear up a bit I'll head out tonight just so I have it and can get it washed and dried. If not, I have to go out tomorrow morning anyway for my 37 week checkup, so I'll swing by WM then.

I've changed my guess in the expectnet pool to March 21st, because I think the first day of spring would be a lovely day to be born. I've already lost my own pool twice, so what's the difference. I'll be locking it, if I remember, at the end of today, just to let you slackers get your guesses in if you want to. I mentioned in the comments for the last post (which actually ended up being almost a post in itself) that we've chosen a name, which is pretty great. It was one that we had thought of in the very beginning, but Grant didn't like it for some reason. His reason turned out to be bunk, so we're going with it, and I'm happy. I'm not telling you all what it is, you can wait, and hopefully it won't be too much longer!

well look at that

after all that fuss of needing to be on bedrest, looks like jr. wasn't ready to meet the world early after all. Tomorrow, I'll be 37 weeks. That's 'officially' full term, for those of you new to the baby-making game. Apparently the rule is if the baby makes it to 37 weeks and is over 5lbs (check and check), then you've made it. I had a feeling that would happen. I also had a feeling that just for fun, I'd go over my due date. I'm sincerely hoping that doesn't happen. That'd be up to 5 more weeks, and I don't think you all want to hear me bitch and moan for that long, do you? Once I have the baby, I'll have all new aches and things to complain about. Wooh! Hey, at least it'll be different material.

Today I have a few things to do, but nothing terribly exciting. I'm going to try to do the border around the baby's room, and see if we can find a more interesting shade for the ceiling light. They didn't have them at Canadian Tire or WalMart, so I'm going to try to find an actual lighting store here, and see if they can help. I know we had fun shades in our rooms when we were little. Oh, also going to look for fabric for curtains. We found some cute stuff yesterday at WM, it's black background and has really cute (but not cutesy) little animals printed all over it. We left that to go to Fabricville, and they had really nothing at all that I'd want to put in my baby boy's room. Lots of cute pink things for girls, but that's not really good. Random people are still asking me "When are you due??". That's great, I love it.

my baby has hair. and naughty bits.

Which were really cool, and pretty funny respectively, to see on the monitor at my ultarsound. Things are very different here from Moncton, I have to say. It's all very 'take a number, go sit down and wait' here. Also, they say that someone can come with you into the ultrasound room, but they fail to mention that they can't come in during the actual ultrasound when they're doing the measuring and so on. I didn't even get to see the monitor while she was doing all her scanning and measuring. They do all that, then go get the father (or whoever) and then you both get a sort of show where the tech just scans the baby and points out fun things like an open mouth or an ear, or in our case hair. Also the naughty bits, she's like, 'we can't actually come out and tell you what it is, but if you can't see that, you're blind.' So it all ended up fine, and I was able to drop off my pre-registration form. I didn't get a tour, but I'm not really worried about it, it doesn't really matter since I have limited (no) other options as to where to deliver this baby. Anyway, the most fun news of all today was that the baby already weighs 7lbs 2oz. I'm assuming there's some margin of error for the measurement, but I asked about it and the tech was like, 'oh, no, it's very accurate.' Super. They gain about 1/2lb a week now, so I'm saying seriously, any day now is great.

That's about it, my bags are packed, the baby's room is being painted as I type, everything is washed and ready to go. The tech said her best guess is 2-3 weeks, but very unlikely 4. I was like, and maybe one? She laughed and said that you never know, it's really impossible to know for sure, but more likely sooner than later, given the size of the baby and the extra fluid still floating around in there. She also said that she's never seen a baby so active at this stage, usually they're all curled up and you just get the occasional hand or foot movement. This guy's not doing any head-over-feet flips (he's still head down, and likely to stay that way, which is good), but he's still rolling side to side and moving his arms and legs all over the place. He's making full use of his expanded living area. So, that's all my news for now. Keep sending your 'go into labour' vibes my way, please. hehe.

one more appointment, down

hopefully one of the last ones! I do like my new doctor, and even her receptionist seems nice, so she must have just been having one bitch of a day when I called that first time. Dr Mills wrote me a note so I can finally activate my damn EI sick leave claim, which is good. The woman at the HRDC office actually recognised my name when I went in to drop off my paperwork today, which is kind of funny. They had just gotten my file from Moncton, because they thought I was continuing my claim from last summer. No, that expires in June, thanks. So she's got it all straightened out for me, they have all the paperwork they need, and hopefully I can start getting my maternity pittance soon.

The appointment was uneventful, as usual. A little quicker than last time, but still an hour by the time I got in and out. My giant belly is measuring 39.5 (weeks, I assume), which is "generous", by Dr. Mills's description. She's too polite to say effin 'uge. She said everything looks and sounds good though, and the baby still seems to be head down, which is very good, and we'll find out for sure tomorrow at my ultrasound. I've gained a total of 21lbs, which doesn't seem like very much, but she said it's normal. I've actually gone down a pound from last week, which is normal at this stage. Should make it easier to get back to pre-preggo me though. Not that pre-preggo me was any great shakes, but it was decent.

I'm like a cat

I guess. Except that I want to kill my cats almost every night. See, I can't sleep in bed. I can, but only for a few hours in the morning, not at night. I can nap a bit on the couch, but it's just getting uncomfortable to be me, in any position. Standing up isn't too bad, but it's not really all that restful. So I've basically become nocturnal, and..dayurnal, because I'm not really sleeping any time. It's super fun. Being awake at night is really annoying when you have cats. I hear every trip to the litter box, every jump on and off the bed, every (generally short-lived) chase up and down the hallway. I'm sure they've been doing all this every night since we got them, but I haven't been awake to hear it all.

I think the baby might have dropped a bit, when I'm standing up I seem to actually have room between my boobs and my stomach, which is nice for breathing. When I sit down it doesn't seem to matter, there's no room for the baby to go anywhere but...everywhere, like my lungs and bladder. Frigging giant baby. I haven't heard from the hospital about when my ultrasound is going to be (this week, supposedly), and I haven't gotten word that my doctor in Moncton has written me a note saying that yes, I've been on sick leave. It's really hard to open an EI sick leave claim without that letter, let me tell you. I'm going to ask my new dr tomorrow if she can write me a note, and if not, I'll just go down to the HRDC office and give them the rest of my paperwork, and see if they'll just start me on my mat leave now. It's less than a month til I'm due, and I can't go more than the 2 weeks I've gone now without getting some money. Mat leave pay is sad enough, I need to at least get it.

edit: my new, fantastic Moncton doctor is now on vacation. That's going to make it *really* hard to get a letter from him saying I'm on sick leave. Jackass. I will try my doctor here, and if not, go with plan B.

I think the rest of today will be spent trying to organise this mess we're trying to call an office. It's tricky, because it only has these weird little shelves, and a giant, built-in desk attached to the wall with one drawer. Not a lot of place to store things. Ideally, I'd like to put my artsy / crafty stuff in here, I should be able to fit it on one corner of the desk, just so it's out of the way and somewhat organised. Currently everything is either piled on the desk, including the cpu for the computer, because there is no hole through the desk to thread cables...or still in boxes on the floor and futon. Good times. It's not a tonne of stuff, but it's a small room, which makes it seem a bit overwhelming. I'll let you know how it works out, and if putting stuff away induces labour. Here's hoping!

last chance

I'm going to be locking the expectnet game soon-ish, so if you want to log a new guess or change yours, do it now. DO IT. Again, no real prizes, but it's fun anyway. No, wait. You win...a month of weekend babysitting priveleges! wooooh!

Despite my best hopes, last night's full moon did nothing to induce this little guy to come out. I think I'll go for a jog on Wednesday. Maybe not a jog, but I'm definitely going out and about to pick up all the last minute things that we need, including (but not limited to) thank-you cards for baby gifts. It's the waiting that's killing me. There's not much else I can do to prepare, and not much I can do period, so I just sit around and wait. You know how the saying goes though...a watched uterus never...boils? Or something. Never does what you want it to do. Has real contractions, I guess.

ah yes, also, don't assume that if I don't post for a day it's because I'm having the baby, or that if you call and I don't answer, the same. It's far more likely in the first case that I just have nothing to say, as evidenced by these lame posts of late. In the second case it's likely that I'm ignoring the phone, or can't find it, or am in the shower, or peeing. Or maybe I'm ignoring the phone because I'm peeing in the shower. Either way, I promise I'll let everyone know when this whole baby thing gets going, so don't get your panties all in a knot about it! I say this because somebody called me the other day, and it took me 2 (!) rings to answer. She was like, "I was all worried! I'm thinking...where is she??" I was like, looking for the phone? Don't stress, people.

simple things

how does one go about making up the crib? I've googled til I can't google no more, and all I can find is what I already know, and contradicting information about things like bumper pads. Do I put the absorbent sheet under the fitted sheet? How does that save me having to change the whole shebang if the baby leaks? Do I use the top sheet of the sheet set? Do I use the quilt? It's not fluffy or anything, but I'm all paranoid. I have lots of fleece blankets, but I think they fit in the 'fluffy blanket' category, so I won't use those. I know no pillows, fluffy blankets, or toys, or anything for a while. Some places say go for bumper pads as long as they're secured along the sides of the crib, but not once the baby can pull himself up, others say not while the baby is tiny, but ok later. I feel like a tool, but the really basic stuff isn't covered anywhere, just the stuff that should be common sense like, 'your baby can't control any of its muscles, so don't give it things it can roll into and suffocate itself with', and 'don't leave cords for the baby to strangle on dangling about'. Thanks.

woohoo!

6 more days of bedrest baby. Everything is fine, as expected, or so says my new doctor. Longest quick appointment ever though, holy canolli. The actual appointment was, of course, 5 minutes. Pee in cup, weighed, measured, listen to baby's heartbeat. Schedule next appt. I did have the added bonus this week of swabbing myself to check for type B Strep, and I'll not give you any further details there. The brochure was very reassuring about it *not* being an STD though, so that's ... good I guess. I was at the office for 1.5 hours though, waiting and waiting. They're also sending me for another ultrasound next week, just for fun I guess. I have my pre-registration forms for the hospital, and from what I've read so far about the Chalmers Hospital, it's just not as cool as the Moncton one, but I'll only be there for 2 days, so I'll manage, I'm sure. I have to call and see if they're doing a tour any time soon so I can at least know what to expect when I get there. You have to bring your own diapers and baby-washing stuff here, which is too bad; it's all supplied in Moncton. Ah well, we have lots for now!

So yes, as of next Wednesday I'll be 36 weeks, and as I had hoped most of my bedrest restrictions will be removed. I'll still be 36 weeks pregnant, which is somewhat limiting in itself. That is, as I was told, if I make it to next week. Reassuring, no? I love having no idea what's going on, it keeps my life interesting. My big plan is to have a night out with Grant on Wednesday, since we haven't done that for quite some time, and likely won't again for a while. Something really exciting like dinner and a movie. Wooh!

done and done

well, not done *that*, clearly, or I wouldn't be posting just yet, but done one thing that makes me feel better. I got the baby's room all organised and put away, except for a couple of boxes of my clothes that we'll have to deal with at some point. Grant's dad is coming up to paint on either Thursday or Friday, which will be fantastic, and when my mom comes back up she's going to bring her toll paints and I'm going to make a chair-rail height border of blocks of different colours picked out of the quilt. I'll take pictures when it's done, but it looks pretty good already, just being all neat. Diapers in the closet, lotions and potions in a basket organiser, clothes and blankets washed and put away. The crib is currently filled with stuffed animals, which is sort of funny because there can't be any in there once the baby does arrive, but it just looked so empty before. We need to get a mattress protector apparently, although I've heard that a couple of blankets under the fitted sheet will do nicely. We also have a couple of washable changing pads that would work perfectly, we'd just have to get a couple more. Understandably, everything is slow going, since I'm not really supposed to be doing anything, I have to everything in very small doses at a very slow pace. I'm actually feeling though, other than the name thing (the fact that we don't have one for this poor little guy), that we're pretty ready for things to happen. It's strange, because I am very much aware that neither of us can really be anywhere near ready for the enormous changes that are going to happen, but I feel like I've done all I can, and we're basically as ready as we're going to be. The whole, labour thing is still freaking me out a bit, and I did end up missing my 'comfort measures' class, but Amy (my pregnant friend) told me it was basically a waste of time, and that the only useful info she really got was how many people you're allowed to have in the delivery room with you. 2 in Moncton, if anyone was wondering.

I think I'll give the Fredericton hospital a call and see if they have any classes coming up later, but then I suppose there's no real point until I know if / when I'm going to be no longer on bedrest. I would like to know about the people in the delivery room thing though, I would assume 2 here as well..and about there pain relief options. The main ones in Moncton are demerol, the gas (I have no idea what it's called, similar to laughing gas but with pain relief as well) and the epidural. I've never had demerol, but a lot of people have a bad (barfing) reaction to it, and they said that people who have reactions to other pain medications often react negatively to the gas as well. Which leaves...the epidural. I'm not really pleased with those options, I have to say. Good thing Mom is taking those classes on how to get through labour, at least one of us will know what the hell is going on. I'm just not crazy about a needle in my spine which paralyzes me from my waist down. Silly, perhaps. It has nothing to do with wanting to be tough or a 'real woman' or any such foolishness, I just would rather try other things. I say this now, I may be in there for like an hour and and be like, "GIVE ME THE DRUGS YOU MOTHER F*&#@!^$!", and I'm ok with that. My official 'birth plan', thus, is to take it as it comes, and make sure somebody tells me when I'm nearing the point of no return as far as the big gun drugs go. Sketchy plan, perhaps, but it sounds good to me.

The bed / couch rest hasn't killed me yet, I now have tv and internet, and kitties to keep me company. I've started reading the DaVinci Code, and it's pretty interesting, so I'm looking forward to finishing it. My mom loaned me the deluxe illustrated edition, it's pretty swanky. I have lots of books and movies, but mostly I just laze around and watch tv. Grant is renting us a movie for tonight, but it's a surprise; I'm not allowed to look up what came out. So exciting! I was telling Erin, the first things I'm going to do when I get off this resting thing are to go to Tingley's for ice cream, and Superstore for a bit of a wander. We need a shower caddy, and they have really nice stainless steel ones for like $10 there, and also a soap pump. Mine had an accident on a particularly hormonal day in Moncton. It was ceramic, and never really pumped all that well, and did not survive its crash landing into the sink after my refilling it and it refusing to pump soap out after about 3 minutes of my trying. What can you do? Buy a plastic one next time!

Ok, this is really long. 35 weeks tomorrow! wooh! Would it be really wrong of me to just decide that 36 weeks is enough, and take myself off bedrest next Wednesday? I have a really strong feeling that nothing is going to happen anyway, just becuase that's the way things work out.

random updates: I haven't heard from my new doctor yet, so we'll see how that goes.
My tattoos are fine, basically. The one on my back has no idea that anything's even going on, nor would you if you caught a quick glimpse of me walking away from you. Except for the slight duck-walk. The one on my hip has moved over, and, I'll be honest with you, I can't really see it all that well, but seems to be faring pretty well. I hate it anyway, it was poorly done even after I made them re-do it. Then it seemed silly to keep going back to the same place (they guarantee their work, and thus would have kept 'fixing' it) when they clearly do shitty work. Someday I'll have it removed or gone over or something.

what, are you pregnant or something?

ah yes, words of true wisdom, spoken by the secretary of my supposed new doctor.

I call, as instructed by my doctor in Moncton, to set up an appointment for next week with my new doctor here in Fredericton. Sounds easy enough. I call, and am on hold for about 10 minutes. Not a good start. I finally get a person, and I tell her who I am, that I've been referred and am meant to set up an appointment. She asks my name, of course, which I give her. She asks me who I was referred by, which I also tell her (both of my doctors, just to be extra clear). She says to me, 'who were you referred to?' I say, 'Dr. Mills'. She says, 'well you know Dr. Mills has a waiting list.' I say, 'no, actually, I was not aware of that. I did not choose a doctor here, I was simply referred upon being released from hospital bedrest for 2.5 weeks to home bedrest.' She says, 'what, are you pregnant or something?' I manage not to laugh right out loud, because I'm actually pretty annoyed at this point. I tell her yes, of course (why the fuck else would I be on bedrest and then referred to an ob/gyn??), I'm 34 weeks along, and really do need to have a doctor. She says they'll call me when they get my file. Very handy.

So, I'm torn between tears and rage, can't get a hold of my original doctor, am now going to try to get a hold of the guy who took over my care when my original doctor went on leave. Not happy though. I don't know if I'm on bedrest for eternity, until 40 weeks, until 36 weeks, until the baby decides to come on out. I don't know if I start having masses of contractions again, if I should worry or just let nature take its course, as the nurse told me to do when I called L&D and she didn't know how far along I was. I think not worry though, because when I told my Dr that I was having masses of them the other day, he said that yes, I'd probably notice that more as I got closer to the end.

All in all, folks, this has been a really frustrating experience. I really don't feel that the bedrest is doing me any good. It's not like I'm actually resting; I'm just lying/sitting around all day feeling useless and bored. The doctors even say that there's no real proof that it helps, but it makes them feel like they're doing something. Fantastic. Glad we can keep the doctors happy. Bedrest makes me kind of depressed and overly emotional, and my muscles, such as they are, are atrophying as I sit here.

update...even though I haven't posted this yet. I got a hold of my doctor in moncton, or her office, and told the secretary there what had happened. She's like, why don't we just call them and tell them you don't *want* to deal with mean people, and we'll refer you to somebody else. I said, ok! So she's doing that now, calling another doctor (a man, because I really don't care), and seeing if she can get me an appointment. Wonderful. I love friendly and helpful people even more than I hate stupid and mean people.

free! but not really

so, I'm in Fredericton, and we've got internet and cable, which is a good thing. We also have a really nice apartment, which is not a surprise, but a relief none the less, since this is my first time seeing it. Mom drove me up from Moncton, and stayed the night and today until about half an hour ago to get me all settled and putter at putting things away. It should be kind of fun to see all the stuff that needs doing, and know I'm not responsible to do any of it, but it's really not.

I'll be sending out a mass email with my new contact info shortly, because everyone loves mass emails.

I have a little bit more to say, but it really deserves its own post.

bustin' out!

I hope. I had my scan today with the antenatal specialist lady, and she said everything looks good, so that's good news. I wasn't really worried, but it's nice to have the assurance. The baby is still measuring a bit big, and weighs approximately 5lbs 4oz, but those estimates are not really all that accurate, apparently. So, we'll wait for tomorrow's 'assessment' and see what's up. I'm pretty confident that I'll be able to go home though; everything is good with the baby and nothing new / complicated has happened with me. We shall see!

I'll have to find out what I'm supposed to do when I get to Fredericton. Apparently I've been referred to a doctor up there, but I don't know who it is or if I'll actually have any appointments before the baby comes, since I don't know if I'll be on full bedrest still. I also have to find a doctor for the baby, which I don't really know how to do. I had asked my ob/gyn here about it, but she's off work now so that never got followed up.

alright, enough computer time. This is why I haven't read any of the books people brought me either...I can't sit up long, and I can't lie on my back, and it's hard to read books lying on your side.

dying

I ranted on the other blog, but I'll rant here too. Why not?

I have a cold. It's a bad cold, it has every cold symptom possible and a fever that just makes me feel like crap, all achey and whatnot. All I can take, due to the whole pregnant thing, is halls and cough syrup. Brutal. They don't work. I'm going to request some Tylenol in a bit and see if that'll help any. Every time I sneeze or cough for more than a couple of seconds I have a contraction. And every time I roll over. So, clearly, things are not getting any better, despite my not going further than the bathroom, 3 feet from my bed. I'm still very excited for my 'reassessment' on Wednesday. HA. I thought pap tests were unpleasant, I'd dare say having your cervix checked is worse. Just so you know.

I go for another profile either today or tomorrow with some specialist peri-natal doctor lady. They're going to check to make sure the baby is breathing and swallowing and stuff, which is good. I have no idea how they can see that, but good luck to them. Also, although the level of fluid did go up from last time I got checked, my doctor said that it's not that precise a means of measuring that they can get all in a huff over a small change, which apparently mine was, so I'm still fine. Good good.

Anyway, that's about it I guess. I'm enjoying my lunch of tuna salad sandwich and potato salad, and very much looking forward to my ice cream dessert. Mmmm. Also, we get red napkins today. Pretty exciting!

testing, testing

so I had my 2nd profile scan today. Turns out I have more fluid than last week! That's fantastic. Not really. Where before the level wasn't enough to worry about, it may be now, especially if it's going to keep going up. My doctor hasn't been in to talk to me yet, he'll be around in the morning. Possibilities remain either nothing, if the level still acceptable, removal of some of the fluid via an amniocentisis needle and IV, or rupturing of the membranes whenever I get far enough along that they feel I can have the baby. Woohoo! I'm not crazy about options B and C, I'll be honest, so hopefully it won't come to that.

My family doctor was in to visit today, she does rounds on Fridays. She told me that her sister was on bedrest from 23 to 34 weeks, when she was pregnant with twins. At 34 weeks they sent her home on bedrest, and at 36 weeks they told her to do whatever the hell she wanted (daily activities, sex etc.). I said wow, sex at 36 weeks pregnant with twins, that's a GREAT suggestion. lol.

The other night I had a dream that my water broke but I didn't go into labour. This afternoon I had a dream that my cats had somehow escaped from Grant's parents' house and come to find us in Fredericton. They're very clever, especially since they've never been to our place in Fredericton. Anyway, the moral of the story is that I thought perhaps that first one was a premonition type dream, but clearly I'm just having strange dreams due to being cooped up in here too long.

I officially gave notice to school that I'm not coming back. I told the vp that in the first place, but she wanted to wait and make sure. Some more of my coworkers stopped in today at lunch and filled me in on all the me-related gossip. There wasn't much, but it was kind of funny. Apparently the word was that I was totally intent on coming back for the 2 weeks between getting out of here and going on mat. leave. Clearly that one was started by someone who doesn't know me very well, since anyone who does would understand that I just wouldn't want to do that. The other rumour was that I wasn't able to get incoming calls because it was too hard on my high blood pressure. I guess somebody must have called during the half hour that my phone wasn't working a few days back, and it was saying that my phone wasn't set up to accept incoming calls. How that got turned into me needing a reprieve from harassing phone calls on account of my high bp...I'm not sure. As one woman said, who are these people calling you and getting your pressure up?! I said that no, I'm fully NOT intending on going anywhere but home or to labour&delivery when I get out of here, and that I have never in my life had high bp. It's generally low, and has been quite low a few times since I've been pregnant. So I got that all straightened out and told the secretary that people can call me anytime.

Now, I must whine. Why not make this the longest post ever? I had really hoped to have the time before the baby came to get things ready. We were going to get all moved up to Fredericton, and I was going to have time to putter around, get things organised, paint the baby's room and get all that stuff settled. Most of that is being taken care of by Grant and his parents and friends, which is fantastic. His parents actually went and spent a day in Fredericton to get things organised and put away, put together the crib and dresser, that kind of thing. While that's absolutely great, I really wanted to have some part in it too. I'm a pretty creative cat and had fully planned to do up the baby's room, but I've never even seen our new apartment, let alone the nursery. I can't very well be out looking at paint chips and fabrics for curtains from here. I feel like I'll be moving into somebody else's apartment, and I don't even know that I'll get to do that on my own, before the baby arrives. It's just little things, but when you have nothing else to do but sit around and think about stuff, the little things really start to get to you. I don't want to be trying to find cups and which drawer the sleepers are in while trying to figure out how exactly to go about this whole, raising a baby thing. Mostly I'm feeling sorry for myself, and then I start to feel bad because this is the best thing for the baby, and I'm a total bitch for wishing I could just be done with the whole bedrest thing.

That'll do for now.

oh, yeah

also, my sister is going away on Sunday for 2 weeks, and Grant's mom is going away in a week, for a week. They've both told me that I'm not allowed to have the baby while they're away. Thanks, ladies, I don't have enough to worry about. I'm going to have the baby during the week you're both away, just because.

oh, right, as IF I have any say in this! the way I figure, the baby is either coming really soon, or, just to be a jerk, is going to hold out until March 30th, as originally planned. I will, of course, keep you posted.

frustrating

alright. Day 11 of a theoretical 17. I know almost nothing more than I did when I got in here. I ask questions, but they can't tell me anything until after my scans tomorrow and Wednesday, and until they 'reassess' me (and my parts) sometime next week. From what I've gathered from the doctors, nurses, and internet, babies born at 34 weeks are a-ok; doctors won't try to stop labour that starts after 34 weeks, whereas they would any time before that. I've also gathered that since I do have this excess of amniotic fluid, if my water were to break on its own, and I were like, at home, there's a danger of the baby's umbilical cord or something else being pulled down first, instead of the head.

edit: apparently, as of Friday, I had not tooo alarming an amount, just more than normal, so they're not worried about the whole cord prolapse thing. good news.

That said, I'm none too confident that I'll be sent anywhere other than the Fredericton hospital on my supposed release day of next Wednesday. Apparently what's sometimes done is that they will go ahead and break your water so that it's controlled and nothing bad happens. I don't know *when* they would do that though, or if my situation warrants that. Hopefully after tomorrow I'll be able to find out a bit more at least about that. They're also going to scan the baby next week to make sure he's swallowing ok; apparently that's a rare but possible cause of too much fluid, and if there is a problem (again, not likely) it's fixable. I do know that he's making good 'breathing movements', because he gets the hiccups all the time, and I actually got to see him hiccupping on last week's scan. Pretty cool.

The heartbeat is good, and he makes way more than the minimum amount of movements. FYI, it's 10 in 4 hours at this stage, and I get 10 in about 10 minutes a lot of the time. Except at (the baby's) naptime, when I can wake him up either by poking or drinking something cold and / or sweet. I asked about how that works exactly, and it's because the baby's bum or feet are always up against the mother's stomach, so the cold hits them. Kind of neat.

Anyway, I'm off to watch the rest of CSI. Good times. I can watch tv AND surf the net in bed. You're all jealous.

due date guesses?

anybody care to change their guesses? The actual due date (according to the doctors here) is March 30th. I have serious doubts that I'll make it that far, but you just never know. Head on over to expectnet (game name is 'guesseverything') and add or change your guesses as you see fit.

I finally have internet, and frigging messenger keeps conking out on me! It's just not fair. Also, the touchpad mouse is evil, I've decided. It keeps doing random things like changing pages and moving the cursor around.

I have an irritable uterus

holy effwprd. I just had this whole freaking thing typed, up, and my browser decided to go back a page. Why? I have no idea. It saved the title, very helpful, but not the post.

anger. anger is not good for my irritable uterus, I'm sure.

ok, so I'll try this again. Monday night I started having a lot of b-h contractions. Like, every 2-3 minutes. So I called labour and delivery, and they advised me to relax, have a nice warm bath or shower, and see if that helps. Ok, so I had like an hour long shower, wonderful (as we discovered, the bath thing is not relaxing), had some supper (Deluxe white cheddar mac and cheese), and filled in my mark sheets for school. start counting contractions again (clearly these are not the real deal, as I'm able to basically ignore them) and see that I'm still going at about every 4 minutes. I call l&d again, and the nurse tells me to stay home as long as possible, and to come in when I find I'm too uncomfortable and / or in pain. Ok...I say to her, so wait, I'm in labour?? She sort of laughed, and said yes, sounds like it. I am very near tears. I tell her I can't be in labour, I'm not even 32 weeks pregnant. She's like, oh! come in please!

So I did. They admitted me, put me in a bed, hooked me up to a monitor, checked my cervix (I was 2cm and 30% effaced), so here I stay. It's been a full week now, and I haven't gone crazy. Yet. They sent me for a profile on Friday to see if they could see anything, and the baby is measuring about 2 weeks bigger than my dates say, and I have too much amniotic fluid. This makes me be so ginormous, and makes my body think that I must be just about done being pregnant. So now I have to just stay in bed to keep things calm, because every time I get out of bed, I have a contraction. I have bathroom and shower priveleges, thank god. I range now anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour or so. still too much. But, I'll keep you posted. I probably won't hear anything until Friday, when they're going to do another profile to check the fluid levels again and see if there's anything else to see. Leave me some comments! it's SUPER BORING here.

scanner guns are super fun

I made a registry! It's #355611819, in case that link stops working later. I'll put it over on the sidebar too. It was pretty fun, I just wandered around and scanned about everything I could think that the little one would need. I do apologize for the crib bedding set, it's mighty pricey, but it's the only one I've seen that I really like - it's not too busy or too obviously gender-neutral or too cheesey cartoonish. We also need some crib sheets, but I don't really care what those look like, so I didn't bother to scan any specific ones. Same for the washcloths and receiving blankets, they don't have to be any specific kind. I'm also not expecting to get most of the stuff, but I thought I'd make it easy for anyone who feels the need to buy the baby something.

I really don't have any other news. I'm going to go through all the stuff from the shower and make a list of everything so I can do up thank you cards. I've never done them before, so that should be fun. I'm pretty sure Grant should have to help. Is it ok to wait and send them out after the baby comes, so I can say how much s/he is enjoying the gift? Probably not ok.

good times a-comin'!

What will you be doing in your spare time? Looks like I'm going to be pretty busy!

*shudder*

Had the baby shower last night, got an absolutely embarrassing pile of stuff. First off, enough diapers to last a while, really and truly. Also, we have over a full big blue Rubbermaid bin full of baby clothes, hand me downs. So, on top of that, we got a vibrating bouncy chair, a giant plush Eeyore, an Ocean Wonders aquarium thing for the crib, and a Leap Frog phonics bus that plays songs and stuff about letter sounds. Along with 2 blue garbage bags full of sleepers, undershirts, blankets, a fleece outfit for the spring and a bigger fleece snowsuit type thing for the fall, bottles, nail clippers, spoons and bowls, car window shades, a mirror so you can see the baby even though it's facing away from you in the car, a gift card, and enough baby bathing products to make any germ-o-phobe proud. I'm sure I'm forgetting things, but it was really sort of overwhelming.

Anyway, I'm planing to go to Toys R Us and see what else I can find. I know there are a few things that I'd like so I'll go a little scanner gun happy, since we have basically everything we *need* now, we can get the extra stuff I guess. I don't want to get too much more in the way of clothes, because I'd like to be able to dress the baby like a boy or girl at some point, rather than the albeit adorable, but very gender neutral things that we have so far. I felt sort of gluttonous with all the presents, but then I felt ok, because it's not even for me, it's for this little one who is, really, not so little, and will be making the grand entrance in about 9 weeks. Everyone I meet says I'm not going to make it that long. I say, thanks! I know that it's different being pregnant than just fat, but you can only be told you're enormous so many times, before you start to get a little self conscious. I know I'm big! And yes, I have 2 WHOLE months left! lol. Get over it!

some advice

just so you know, a bath is not nearly as relaxing as baths are meant to be, when your tub is roughly big enough to comfortably seat a toddler, and not nearly big enough to allow enough water to cover all the bits that need warming and relaxing in the first place.

my back still hurts.

sigh.

ch-ch-changes

The baby is slowing down a bit, I guess it's getting a bit cramped in its current living conditions. Still plenty of movements, especially when I sit and count, but not as much as a few weeks ago. 31 weeks tomorrow! I have this feeling that I'm going to go early. I don't know how early, or why I think that, but I just do. I'm worried that it'll be really soon, or that something will happen (ie, the giant baby is so big that I'll have to go on bedrest to keep it from coming really early) and that because I don't plan ahead, and they haven't hired a replacement for me at school yet, that my classes will be totally screwed. Whenever I mention this worry to anyone, they invariably reply 'that's not really your problem!'. True, but I still worry. Also, this is still pretty early, it's got a good 6 more weeks to go before it's considered term. I'm into my 8th month though, which is kind of fun. I'm also realizing that 9 months is not actually how long you're pregnant for, since they start counting from your last period. I was 7 months...2 days ago, if we're using that math, and that doesn't compute with my due date. Slightly over 9 months, I guess.

Anyway, my back is ridiculously sore from being hunched over my desk, marking all day. Since I don't have a personal masseuse / live-in significant other at this point, I think I'll take a bath. I'm doing a lot of work at school this week so that I can come home and relax in the evenings. I have a bit of cleaning up to do here, it's part of the fun packing process, but nothing to strenuous. I have to tally the marks on my grade 9 exams, but I'm not marking anything else until tomorrow. And, I have to decide what to eat, because last night I had a DQ burger, so I feel like I should have something real tonight.

I have some very small stretch marks, and I have to say I'm a little annoyed. I grew really quickly up to this point, and was doing fine! I'm happy I don't have enormous ones, but I know that not *everyone* gets them (like my mom, she didn't...no fair), so I was hoping I'd be one of the lucky ones. They are small, and on the underside of my giant belly, so I don't even see them unless I look in the mirror. I also have some, for some reason, where my bellybutton ring was. I took it out as soon as I started to show, because it was looking really odd. Just recently, I've noticed that there are stretch marks there, between the 2 holes. Odd. Confined for now, so I'm relatively happy.

The bath beckons, I'll talk to you fools later.

why aren't you commenting!

I need rassurance!

Anyway. I put up a newer / more fun picture of myself on the sidebar there. It's even a link to the normal-sized picture, if you'd care to take a look. I'm going to need somebody to actually *take* pictures of me though, so I can get nice ones with a normal facial expression and stuff. I'm usually still trying to get myself into position when the picture takes, and thus look totally stunned. Hence the headless shots. Also good for anonymity.

Anyway, according to the babycounter thingie, tomorrow I will have exactly 10 weeks until the big day. I have a feeling (and it may be wishful thinking, true) that I may not make it all the way to the end. That I'll come close, but maybe go a week ahead of schedule. My dr. keeps telling me that it's just a big baby, and that it doesn't affect my dates or anything, but the look of surprise / confusion on her face every time she measures me leads me to believe that I could possibly be a little further along than I have figured out. Regardless, 10 weeks is kind of scary. The first line in my 'your baby this week' email this week was about how my baby's head is getting bigger. That's just a mean thing to start off with, don't you think?

At least I'm not this poor woman. Yet. She had a c-section, of course, but still.

I stopped in to Thyme to see if I could spend a gift certificate I had gotten before Christmas. I managed to get myself a pair of overalls. They are cute, but do definitely emphasize my giant-ness. I don't care though, because they're comfy. Another thing, to be categorized with the poncho, that I will probably only wear whlie pregnant.

I told you, giant baby

everything is going well, the glucose tolerance test was fine, so I can continue to eat whatever I want (in the words of my doctor). I've gained a total of 12.5lbs, which is good / normal, and I'll probably gain that much again before this trip is over. When she measured me, she was like, wait a minute, went and looked at my estimated due date, looked at me, looked at the date again, came back and measured me again before writing it down. Apparently, I'm still running noticeably bigger than my date indicates. She still refuses to change said date though, she said that it's just a big baby. Fun for me!

After my next appointment on Feb 15 (5 weeks from now rather than 4, the Dr. lady is away the 4th week) I'll start going every 2 weeks, but that will only be one more appointment here, then I'll be moving up to Fredericton. The original plan had been to stick it out here until the baby decided to make his/her appearance, but it seems silly to do that now that Grant and I have a nice place up in Fredericton that I can fuss over and get ready. So it's looking like I'll stick around here until after March break and then head up.

I start my pre-natal classes next month; I'm taking 4 I think, but I can't remember the 4th one. One is a full day on labour, pain management etc (or "comfort measures", as they say on the sheet), then one on breastfeeding and one on newborn care. Should be good! My mom is taking classes in Halifax so she can help out in a sort of doula-esque way.

I think that's it. I took the morning off, I think I'll start taking the day for the next...2 appointments I'll have during school. It's easier to find a supply teacher for a full day than just for the morning, and really, it's not like I can save my sick days anyway, so I might as well use them.

picture time!

now, I have to put up 4 pictures in order for you to fully appreciate the growth that has happened in the last month. The befores are from December 6, the afters are January 10 (today).

enjoy.





I'll admit, that front-on shot scared even me. Yipes. What's the counter at, 75 days to go? I'm interested to see what's going to happen. I'm very short waisted, and I'm blaming that for the fact that I'm only comfortable either standing up straight, or lying in bed on my side stretched out. When I'm sitting down for a long time, I get to feeling squished, like there's just not enough vertical room in there for what's going on. Again, should be intereting!

w t f

I'm sorry, diaperless babies??? Intuition my ass, that baby would be messing all over everything. Seems less cruel to be changing poopy diapers that the poor dear might have sat in for a minute or two, than to confine the little one to plastic coated areas of the house.

strange contrasts

ok. So, about the belly picture...my camera is in Fredericton, but I'll have it this weekend. It'll just be that much more fun for you to see the difference from that one over yonder.

Anyhoo. A friend of mine at work gave me some baby clothes, sleepers and onsies and stuff, all in very gender neutral colours like white, yellow, etc. So, at the same time that I'm thinking, 'wow, my tummy is getting big, I wonder how big and alieny this baby is going to get in the next 2-3 months!'...I'm looking at these teeny-tiny clothes and thinking, 'holy crap, I can't believe I'm going to be responsible for someone so very, very tiny!'

It's all relative I guess. Compared to regular-sized people, babies are really quite small. Compared to, say, molecules of pee (or anything else I can more easily imagine coming out of that specific area of my body), babies are really quite enormous. I have to say, the whole delivery thing is scaring me a bit. I know that women have been doing it for approximately a billion years, mostly without medication of any kind. I, however, have never done it before, and it's scary. All my 'your pregnancy this week' emails are more about how to tell if I'm going into labour and what to expect (like an email can prepare you for that), than about the baby. The baby is basically done, just small scale. All the finishing touches and filling out and whatnot, the getting strong is happening now. This week his/her eyes opened, and s/he even has eyelashes! Pretty amazing. Random fact for the week: in one of my books, I read that sometimes premature babies don't have nipples, because they're one of the last things to develop. That's kind of funny. I wonder if boys will ever eventually evolve to not have them at all? Why do they have them now? This is getting a big tangent-y; I think that means it's bedtime.

I'm going to have a baby this year

that's pretty scary. Less than 3 months to go. The baby continues to do kung fu acrobatics against my abdomen, bladder, and ribcage, and sometimes it's downright startling to just be sitting there and then feel like there's, well, a person inside me flipping around.

I promise (really) to put up a new picture, soon. I haven't taken one in a while, and I haven't been home to upload anything anyway. The family was duly impressed by my girth, and everyone is letting me know none-too-subltly that they thing I'm going to be enormous. Thanks, guys. I did get some nice new maternity clothes that should do me through to the end, including a couple of really nice blousy shirts, long sleeved t-shirts, comfy sweaters, a pair of pants, and a set of matching mom-and-baby pjs. How cute is that? They're non-gender specific too, just teddy bears, so it's a go either way. We also got some crib sheets, blankets, a jolly jumper, and a carrier. Add that to a stroller / infant car seat and a high chair, a vibrating bouncy chair thingy and a whack of clothes and things from Grant's uncle and his girlfriend, who have a 3 month old and are just packing and sending our way everything that he outgrows, and we're on our way to being set. There's definitely a lot of stuff left that we need, but I feel good about what we have so far. I may actually have to register somewhere, but that takes a lot of work, so I'll more likely just make a list of have and have-nots for any among you who like to buy us things. The only other 'big-ticket' item we need is a crib, and I'm honestly not sure what else you're supposed to get, other than lots of sleepers and things. I suppose a car seat for later on, but that'll be, well, later on.

Anyway, enough of that, I'm pretty tired, last night having been new years and all. I had a wild party! Or, obviously, not. I did stay up until about 3 though, and then get up at about 9 for some strange reason, so I'm pretty sleepy now. I'm glad to be back to my bed with my body pillows too, they make sleeping much more comfy.